You‘ve been seeing this guy for a while and everything is going well. You meet regularly and you are getting along fine. But how do you know if he might be the one for you? Here are ten signs that suggest he could be:
1. He acts on what he says.
Is he all talk or does he act on what he says? When you decide whether or not you trust him, you should look at his actions instead of his words. It is easy for him to tell you how great and beautiful you are and to list everything he would do for you, but the secret in finding out if he is serious about you is to focus on how he treats you. Does he remember when and where he’s supposed to meet you? Does he remember important dates like your birthday? If he says that he would like to take you to his parents’ lake house, does he follow up on it? If you notice that he is all talk and no action, there is a good chance that he is not serious about you. And even if he is, do you really want to be with somebody who regularly builds your hopes up and then lets you down by not doing what he told you he would do?
2. He makes an effort to be in your life.
If he really wants to be part of your life, he will be. Does he contact you or do you always have to be the one to start a conversation or to suggest to meet? Is he willing to meet your friends and family when the time is right or is he trying to keep things between you as private as possible for as long as he can? After a fight, does he make an effort to fix things between you or is he using the fight as an excuse to keep his distance? You can tell a lot about a man’s intentions by looking at what role he is playing or trying to play in your life.
3. You make each other laugh.
A sense of humour that is compatible with yours is also a quality that “the one” should possess. Would you rather spend the rest of your life laughing or trying to fill awkward silences when you don’t understand each other’s jokes?
4. You can be yourself around him.
Being around him feels natural and effortless and you don’t feel the need to be anything but yourself. You have plenty to talk about, but you don’t have to force yourself to think of conversation topics. You’re also comfortable being quiet together.
5. He is proud to be with you.
Does he acknowledge you in public? How does he act when you run into his friends or co-workers? Does he introduce you to them? Does he seem to mind being seen in public with you or is he comfortable with people knowing about your relationship? When he is clearly uncomfortable being seen with you in public, there is a good chance that he is not serious about you. On the other hand, when you can tell that he is proud to have you as a partner by the way he behaves he is likely interested in a future with you.
6. You can imagine a future with him.
When you imagine your future, can you imagine him in it? Does he have similar hopes and expectations for his future as you for yours? When there is no way that you can imagine him to be part of your future, your relationship won’t last. And if your hopes and expectations when it comes to having children, marriage or places to live are very different from his, you have to ask yourself if being with him is worth giving up your plans, and he has to ask himself the same question. If you come to the conclusion that being together is not worth changing your plans over, your relationship is bound to end eventually.
7. You are willing to make sacrifices for each other.
Being in a functional relationship requires both of you to make compromises and sometimes sacrifices for each other. Those sacrifices can differ in size and importance, but both of you will have to make them from time to time. Are you willing to miss an episode of your favourite show so that he can watch a football match? Is he willing to miss out on poker night to go to your office Christmas party with you? If you both are willing to make sacrifices for each other, it is a clear sign that both of you are serious about your relationship.
8. You have chemistry.
Chemistry is essential for a successful relationship. Chemistry is also something that cannot be forced or improved over time; it just has to be there. A relationship without chemistry will never be as fulfilling as a relationship where the chemistry is right.
9. At the end of a rough day you’re happy to see him.
You can tell a lot about how you feel about him by paying attention to your mood when you are supposed to meet him after a rough day. Imagine coming home from a horrible day at work. You feel tired and drained. You are supposed to meet your partner for drinks later. Is he just another person that you would rather not socialize with right now or is he the one person that you want to be with and speak to because you know that it will make you feel better? If it is the latter, you might have found yourself a partner who is worth holding on to.
10. Trust your gut.
Be honest with yourself. Set aside the fear of being alone and the pressure to be in a relationship at a certain age when you ask yourself if he could be the one for you. Ask yourself if you are willing to stick with him or if you would consider leaving him for somebody else. If you come to the conclusion that you are with him because of who he is and not out of fear or because of pressure from the outside, and if he is serious about you as well, your relationship might have a real shot.